


Ywou awre am asshowle

by Huniebunnie



Category: South Park
Genre: Comedy, Dentist Visits, Kyle has some real sass on him, Kyle is a needy little handful, Love Confessions, M/M, Stan is a bad kisser, Stan is exhausted, anaesthetics, soft fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huniebunnie/pseuds/Huniebunnie
Summary: Kyle got his wisdom teeth removed and Stan is in love
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 1
Kudos: 97





	Ywou awre am asshowle

Stan watched Kyle sniffle in the chair, he knew he was under a lot of drugs right then and he was trying not to laugh because he’s sure Kyle would cry.

“Stam?”

“Yeah?” 

Kyle held out his arms to be hugged, “I thought I was dywing.”

“Aww Ky, I told you you weren’t dying.” Stan hugged him in an awkward position because Kyle was still in a dentist chair.

Kyle kissed his cheek, “I love ywou dude. I probably should’ve said that bewfore I was dywing.”

Stan bit down his laughter, “Well don’t worry because you’re not dying.”

Kyle cried, “I feel like I’m dywing.”

“Does your mouth hurt that bad?” 

“Yeah!” Kyle wiped his face, “I meed a kiss kiss.”

“A what?” Stan nervously laughed. 

“A kiss kiss makes it bettwer!”

The nurse walked in and laughed, “How you doin’ sweetie?”

“Stam’s am asshowle.” Kyle bursted with tears.

“Because he wouldn’t kiss you?”

“Ywes” 

“Does he normally kiss you?”

“Mnooo”

Stan shook his head, “There’s no winning with him when his like this. I’m either an asshole or his favorite person.”

“Obviously you’re his favorite person if you brought him here. He’s just under a lot of pain killers at the moment is all.”

“I hate ywou guys.” Kyle mumbled, “Ywou let them hurt me.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned down to peck him, “There, am I still an asshole?”

“It still hurts.” Kyle wiped his nose on his sleeve. 

“Aw gross Ky. Use a tissue”

“Why’re ywou beimg so meam to me?”

Stan looked at the nurse, “How long is he gonna be like that?”

“A few hours at most,” She smiled. “Do you two live together?”

Stan glanced at Kyle and nodded, “Is he gonna remember anything I say?”

“Not really. This will all feel like a big dream and he won’t be able to tell if anything but his surgery was real.”

Stan nodded again, “Cool.”

“Well the Doctor is almost ready to let you guy go home.”

“I wamt Ice cream.”

“We have ice cream at home, Kyle.”

“Okay boomer.”

“Are you seeing this shit?” Stan pointed, “He just called me a boomer.”

She laughed and walked out, leaving them alone again.

Stan looked at Kyle, “How am I boomer? We’re the same age.”

Kyle waved him off, “I wamma go home.”

“I know you do.”

“Ywou’re a terrible kisser.”

Stan grimaced to himself before speaking, “You have fucking cotton balls— in your mouth. Of course it’s not gonna be an amazing kiss.”

“It was suwpposed to be.” 

“Well I’m sorry, Kyle. Did you want another one?”

“Ywes.”

Stan rolled his eyes and kissed his friend, “Do you feel better now?”

“Ywes.” Kyle mumbled softly.

“Good.” Stan pulled away and sat in his own chair to take a video, “Here’s Ky, high as a kite on painkillers.”

“Why’re ywou beimg so meam?”

Stan hushed him, “As you can see everything I do is ‘meam’”

“Lweave me alonme.”

“No I won’t leave you alone. This is for your mom to know you’re okay.”

“Mnooooo!” Kyle covered his face, “Turm it off, Stam!”

“Tell your mom you love her.”

“Stam dom’t make me.” 

“Just say you love her.”

“Turm it off!” 

“He loves you, bye Mrs. B.”

“I hawte ywou.” 

“Love you too, dude.”

Kyle gasped, “Ywou lowve me?”

“I do.” 

“I lowve ywou toooo!”

Stan smacked his own forehead, “I can’t believe I love your dumb-ass.”

“Oi! My ass is mot flat.” 

“Never said it was, Kyle.”

“Them what did ywou say?” 

“You’re a dumb-ass.”

Kyle sniffled, “I’m mot talkimg to ywou anymowre.”

“Okay, Kyle.” Stan sighed, “You’re exhausting me”

“Then drimk some coffee, it’s mot that hawrd.”

“I thought you weren’t talking to me?”

“Shhhhhh, be qwuiet Stamley.”

“Doesn’t it hurt to talk?”

“Mm mm” Kyle shook his head, “Ywour kiss kiss made it bettwer.”

“It did?” Stan laughed. 

“Mhm!” Kyle wiped his nose again.

“Dude gross.”

“Ywou’re still beimg am asshowle though.”

“I’m sorry Ky, would you like it better if I didn’t talk at all?”

“Mno” Kyle started, “Ywou’re jus’ suwpposed be mice to me.”

“Well I think you’re very brave for getting three wisdom teeth removed in the same day.”

“Ywou do?”

“Yes, and I think that even if you’ve been crying that you’re still very pretty.”

“I am?”

“Uh-huh” Stan smiled, “So pretty.”

“I feel like ywou’re lyimg.”

“No, I’m not lying.”

“I’ve beem ugly cryimg.”

“Change your cotton balls dude. Your mouth is bleeding.”

Kyle spit them in his hand then put in new ones, “What do I do wiff dem?”

Stan scrunched up his nose and pointed at the trash can, “There.”

Kyle wobbled over and dumped them, “Cam I have a hug?”

“Yeah, comere and I’ll give you a hug.”

Kyle hugged him and sat on his lap sideways, “Cam I tell ywou a secrwet?” He whispered and Stan nodded, “I wamma go home.”

“I know.”

“Cam we go?”

“Not yet.”

“Do ywou love me?”

“We already established this”

“Mno, I meam are ywou imn love with me?”

Stan fidgeted nervously, “Yes?”

“I love ywou too!” Kyle gasped and kissed his cheek, “Am I ywour girlfriemd mow?”

“No, you’re my boyfriend now. We’re gay.”

“That makes more semse.”

Stan nodded, “Can you sleep when we get home? I have a paper due tonight.”

“I wamma spemd time with ywou.”

“And we can hang out tomorrow, but tonight I have a paper.”

“Lwike a dawte?” Kyle smiled.

“Sure, if you remember any of this.”

“Oh yweah, how would I remember?”

“You’ll just have to or you won’t get a date with me.”

Kyle started crying again, “It’s mot my fauwlt if I dom’t remember.”

“Hey, I was kidding.” Stan wiped Kyle’s tears off, “Just kidding, it’s otay.”

“It’s not, is it? I’m mot pretty.”

Stan sighed and laid his forehead on Kyle’s shoulder, “I think you’re gorgeous. Especially when it’s snowing because you stand out in a crowd of boring people. You’re my tiny flame and I love you, I was just being a dick.”

“I lowve ywou too.” Kyle kissed him, “Evem if ywou’re an asshowle.”

“I know. I’m an asshole.” Stan closed his eyes and laid back on Kyle’s shoulder, “I’m so tired. Next time don’t schedule doctors appointments so early.”

“Cam we map?”

“What?”

“Cam. We. Map?”

“Map?”

“Map!”

“Nap?”

Kyle nodded, “I jwust swaid thawt.”

“I didn’t understand.”

Kyle huffed, “Fime, I’ll be qwuiet.”

“I never asked you to be quiet, Kyle.”

“Ywou didm’t hawve to.”

Stan held his waist and tried settle so he could take a small nap, “Wake me up when the doctor comes back to check up on your mouth, kay?” He got no reply, “Kyle, I’m talking to you”

“I hweard ywou.”

“Okay, just checking.”

“Mhm”

Stan started to doze off and the last thing he heard was, “I lowve ywou, asshowle.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the shitpost but I thought it was cute for Stan to have to put up with Kyle’s bullshit


End file.
